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Greetings!
Though I am (or was) a keralite by birth, I have lived my 22 years (soon to be 23!!!) in hyderabad as a hyderabadi.. So its the hyderabadi blood that runs through my veins, hyderabadi delicacies appetizing the gourmet in me and of course the hyderabadi hindi that I speak!! (not very successful with that). Keeping the hyderabadi spirit I am here to talk about something that connects, something that runs through like the blood vessels in our body the old, historical, classical hyderabad and the modern, stylish and contemporary secundrabad. The hyderabad traffic, something that can surely be attributed as the lifeline of hyderabad, which keeps hyderabad moving and alive. what can I talk about traffic, its just the same like in other cities in our country or better or worse or competing with others to get more worse... But for my mind, this traffic (in shakespearian style!) is more or less like a play, a drama with the commuters, pedestrians and everything you find on those roads playing their roles, and there are some colourful chracters in this play that I would try to introduce in this topic...

Hyderabad roads can be compared to a race course, actually its more than a race course with the path full of potholes and gutters and something where you get to see Moto GP and Formula One Grand Prix happening on the same track at the same time...
'A treat to the human eye
A threat to the passerby!'
Moto GP is run by the dudes of hyderabad, who are well known for cockroaching (my apologies for the neologism) their way ahead through anything that they define as a path and F1 Grand Prix by their arch rivals, auto rickshaw (herewith reffered to as Ferrari) who can zip their way through much to the peril of the precarious passengers. These Ferraris are known for their sharp turns at great speeds performing incredible feats and rolling over in the end result..
'Fear is Fun...
Passenger's Fear is Auto driver's Fun... '
So with the dudes and Ferraris holding the reins of defining and pushing the limits of speed, we also have the dudes of yore and now retired from the race, struggling to keep up with the pace and constantly hurling curses on those who do.. Hey C'mon!! they are all playing their roles, the dudes, the ferraris aren't they?? Some go a long way and retire, some go even longer and higher and rest in peace!! Its all in the game.. Then there are the big guys, the APSRTC buses who always seem to have some number displayed on their foreheads.. 216, 217??? or is it 007, james bond style because these guys surely have the license to kill and do whatever they please on the roads(track I mean).. And finally the latest entrant, the 21st century ultra modern riders displaying the oh-so-cool stunts like talking on the mobile while riding....
"Hello... I am coming.."
Yamraj:" Hi!! Welcome..."

With all these characters thrown in we have the hyderabad traffic racing, struggling, strolling ahead.. Now for some of the common scenes and more introductions as the scenes are enacted.. This scene is when all the characters meet at the crossroads (ameerpet for instance) and suddenly the atmosphere changes....
"Its the time to disco!!"
Oh yeah the disco lights are on... Red Yellow Green Yellow Red Yellow Green Yellow...
Red means rush ahead as fast as you can, Green means move with caution and Yellow means.. Yellow means what?? May be its for the disco lights to look more colourful.. So they all party, singing and honking at each other.. Nice and sweet. But not all the crossroads are so nice and sweet or rather meant for partying even though they have those disco lights. You will soon know why!! Just at one of those crossroads a dude eager to rush through looks around and finds no danger lurking around, he slowly tries to sneak across and suddenly.... Something from nowhere crosses him at lightning speed, an alien attack perhaps!! our dude looks around and up in the sky for any signs of UFO but only finds his engine turned off and the key missing!! what was that and why does it want my key?? In that moment of panic his eyes finally sight the alien dressed in khaki trousers and not so white shirt with a strange looking helmet something used in the army. He's no alien, he's none other than the argus-eyed traffic cop waiting at the other end with a tight lipped but radiant smile beaming with pride for the feat accomplished with an agility and adroitness rarely seen among his clan. The dude is fully aware that this cop is only known to speak liquid currency, so the negotations take place the settlement is made and the dude surges ahead furious with his futile attempt..

This whole family of cops can be seen at various places, playing different roles with an ulterior motive of earning some money. Their primary targets are always the dudes and one of the scenes often taking place is where the cop standing next to a maruthi van on which is written RTA certified PUC.. The cop stops a dude passing by..
cop: " pollution"
dude:" who is polluting?"
cop: "pollution dikaao!!"
Just then a ferrari passes by puffing smoke like a chimney but the cop knows he's not a pricy catch. after sometime we see the heads of the dude and the cop trailing a two wheeler with the eyes fixed on the rider.
"Gorgeous!! wasnt she?? "
Both of them nod indicating a tacit approval.
Good she wasnt wearing a helmet. Who wants those beautiful faces covered with helmets. Some do wear, much to the dismay of the dudes. whats the use? whats the use when the dudes zip and overtake just to catch a glimpse of that face through the rear view mirror (alas! some use of it). sad state of affairs. Helmets should be banned for those lovely damsels on the roads.
A lot more scenes happen in this play and a small topic is insufficient to describe all those. With bits and pieces of information I know, this play was a mere bricolage of my mind. There are more colourful and lively characters known and unknown making this lifeline of hyderabad, which is bustling and growing enormously.

Disclaimer: All the characters and scenes aforementioned are only the product of my hallucinations. They have absolutely nothing to do with the real life of hyderabad. Hyderabad is a wonderful city with organized traffic and wide and clean roads and cops who know nothing but discharging their duty assiduously. If you witness any of the incidents or scenes then its only a delusion created owing to your tired, over stressed, crazy and psychopathic mind. Good day!
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4 Responses
  1. Anonymous Says:

    Hmm..even "keralites" know a lot abt "our hyderabad"""!! :D


  2. Anonymous Says:

    Heyyy i agree with your views on Hyderabad...i love Hyderabad so much even though i come from another place. People here dont show off, which is often found in other cities. Everybody minds his/her own buisness but at the same time are ready to help when needed!
    Cheers!


  3. Anonymous Says:

    nice take on hyderabadi traffic!

    you've to see traffic at other places. hyd traffic is mild when compared to traffic in kolkata, mumbai, ahmedabad and even baroda. here we have cattle as the 'kings of road' and mountains of cow dung on those parts of roads not already covered by potholes.

    the day traffic scnario improves in our country is the day we can claim to be a developed nation or super power or whatever

    keep writing! looking forward to more of your posts
    -KS


  4. Anonymous Says:

    good going!! :)